As those of you that follow me and have read my other blog posts know, I have a condition called trichotillomania. For those of you who have never read a single post I have ever written, hi, my name is Julia, and I have trichotillomania. There is no simple answer to what trichotillomania is, but an attempt at one is that it is a mental condition called an impulse control disorder, and it causes me to impulsively pull my hair out. There also isn’t a simple reason why, so I’m not even going to go there in this post.
This post is about a recent change I’ve made to my hair. For me, it was quite a big deal. So, most people that have trich have pretty thin hair. Many wear wigs or hair pieces to hide bald spots or particularly thin patches. For a while I wore hair pieces. I eventually cut my hair really short and got highlights to help blend in with the thin spots (my aunt is a hairdresser, which actually helps a lot). Ever since that moment I have been trying to grow my hair back out and I have been coloring my hair, as a way to appear more confident in it than I really am. I don’t know if it gave off that impression at all, but that’s what I was going for.
For most of high school, my hair was pretty much the same length, save the bald spots and such. I kept my hair around shoulder length and strategically styled it to hide anything that would give away my missing hair (although that was sometimes almost ridiculous because my mom would tell people I was losing my hair (everyone in my family thinks I have alopecia because I don’t know how to tell anyone that I have trich)). Towards the end of high school I started trying to grow my hair out even longer. My main problem spot is the top of my head (the crown). It eventually got to the point where the rest of my hair was long and thick enough that I could hide it by wearing my hair up, which I still do to this day. I’ve gotten slightly more creative with the ways I wear my hair, but nothing too fancy. Up until January 2nd, 2015, I had been growing my hair out. Most of it was down to my waist, and I was almost confident about it, but I knew it was really unhealthy and needed to be cut, because it hadn’t been and the dye had pretty much ruined it.
I told my aunt I wanted my hair cut. I went in. I had my hair cut. Almost 8 inches. 8 INCHES. When she was done, I couldn’t believe it. My hair. It was short. It still goes past my shoulders and is what most people would consider medium to long, but IT’S SHORT. It feels so different. I was so nervous about it because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to style just right. I was afraid losing the length would somehow make it impossible to hide everything. Well, it’s not. And my hair feels SO HEALTHY. I can’t even remember a time it has felt so soft and healthy and easy to comb.
My next goal is to grow out the hair at the back of my crown. You know, that part where your hair swirls or whatever. That is one of my problem spots, but I’ve been getting better. I think if I can make my problem area as small as possible, I won’t have to work so hard on hiding, and I can feel more confident in general. I also think I am going to dye my hair less, maybe stop all together, for the sake of it’s health. But I have to say, I will really miss the purples and pinks.
Do you have any tips or tricks for hiding your problems spots? Do you have problem spots? What is your favorite hair style? What are your favorite hair products? I will probably make a post later about the products I use and what products I think are great for people with trich. Thanks for reading!